TAKING MY OWN EFFIE ADVICE
I have often said that when I coach others, I coach myself. There is ALWAYS a lesson in it for me. This was a good one.
I spoke with a client who shared some news that none of us want to hear. There are some major health concerns… follow up appointments in the next week and then an immediate plan for radiation. Scary. All of it. I need you to know, this woman is a powerhouse. She is intelligent, has a successful career, a beautiful family with children grown, and they have lives that any parent would be proud of.
Strong. Fierce. Kind.
And you know what she shared? She doesn’t want anyone to know she is sick because she doesn’t want people to feel sorry for her. OOOOOF. That hit hard.
So where is the lesson? Let me put my hand up and say F#$%. That is me… Sure, I share, but do I really? Do I let people in to support me? Do people even show up and ask how I am doing? Or do they think I am OK because I am the strong one?
How many of us were taught to “not be a burden” or “don’t bother them with that, they have enough to worry about”. Seriously, how many of us???
As we moved through the coaching conversation, I thought about all the people that need to be there to support her. Her village… those people will need support too. And what happens if we place a boundary on others for not sharing? Who do they lean on for support? And what about friends, you know the ones I talk about in my life who are there through it all. Your village.
* Insert Reframe Question *
How would YOU feel if someone you loved kept this from you and you were not given the opportunity to support your person?
If you have not had a coaching relationship, one thing you would not know is that we can spend a lot of time in silence.
So I did not share with her how I would feel… but I will tell you. I would be so sad if I was not able to be there for any of my people. I love my them and as you all know if you are in my circle, I too am fierce. I took some time to reflect on the conversation today. I wonder, what would happen if we cracked ourselves open a bit, changed the lens we are viewing through and allowed people to carry us when the burden is heavy? How would a reframe of your situation change?
I know my world would be brighter and I know my clients will be too, because she made the decision to crack open and let some people in.
As always, if you are looking to make change in your life and want an accountability buddy who will help you reframe, set goals and move forward then send me a quick note. Let’s chat.