Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries.
They are relevant to our business life and our personal life. We need boundaries. Period.
I am not sure I knew what boundaries and expectations were when I was younger. I knew the definition of the words;
Boundary: something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent
Expectation: the act or state of expecting : ANTICIPATION
Logically we all understand those words. But do we know what it means to have those in action in our lives?
One of the most significant lessons I had with boundaries and expectations came when I was planning the wedding to my now ex-husband. Everyone has drama around weddings. Who to invite? The date? Who will stand up for you? What will you wear? Does your family like who you are going to marry?
This time in my life was really no different with the exception that I cancelled the wedding six weeks out because there were unspoken expectations that were not met, boundaries that were crossed and relationships damaged as a result. Those of you have been in my life for the last 15 years will know most of the details of this story and how I ended up getting married somewhere else without any of my family present. I don’t regret it. It was a beautiful day, and I was surrounded by friends who had become family and my (former) inlaws who I was very close with. But it was a solid lesson and the beginning of me learning to put boundaries in place and learn to talk through the expectations that people are generally so afraid to acknowledge.
Today’s Taking My Own Effing Advice Tuesday is brought to you by boundaries.
If you have been following along you may have noticed that I invested in myself and hired a coach… well a team of coaches to help me change BPF and the work I take out to the world. For a long time, I have been focusing on working in businesses to help turn things around with the right bums in the right seats, KPIs, goals and direction of the business; helping the business owner focus and grow. It has been fun. (except the parts where people were let go and lives were impacted) Balancing the needs of the business and the needs of the people is always a fine line to walk.
One of the questions I have been working through with Erik and the team is what is one thing that I can do for my clients? What is my area of expertise? I sat with that for a bit… it is hard to sell a concept and I wasn’t 100% sure what I can do for clients, let alone how to sell it.
Then a close friend asked me the same question but in a different way. “What is the one thing I have learnt in my life that my ideal client needs to know at this point in their journey?”
I have become an expert at setting boundaries and having difficult conversations. And this applies to business owners, professionals in organizations and in our personal lives.
When I look back at the coaching clients I have worked with, each one has had at least one scenario that needed to have boundaries enforced, reinforced or defined. What happened after those conversations took place was a renewed sense of energy, a focus on goals and a sense of freedom to step onto the Brave Path. A step forward towards the life they want to live. Professionally and personally.
I am not saying each conversation has gone perfect, or that there is not a need to continue reinforcing boundaries, but it allows space for creativity and abundance to flow again. There is power in that.
I am going to continue to work on what I want to offer to my clients and pay attention to the signs. Remind myself that I am a compass for others that guides them along their own Brave Path.
And as always, if you want a partner who will push, pull, encourage, and cheer you on there is always room for us to work on redefining your own Brave Path.