TAKING MY OWN F-ING ADVICE TUESDAYS- February 16, 2021
I have been struggling recently. A lot. It got me thinking about whether I needed to revisit my past and talk to my doctor about medication. Let me tell you a bit more.
Several months prior to leaving the marriage, I went and saw my doctor because I was REALLY struggling. Crying a lot, thoughts in my head that just kept spinning and I could not seem to pull myself out of the ditch. It was when I sat in the office with my family physician and started talking about life that I truly recognized I needed help.
I was doing all the right things. Exercising and moving my body, making good food choices, not drinking alcohol and seeing a counsellor but even with all of those things put together I could not seem to pull myself together.
That was hard to admit. I have always taken care of myself, financially and otherwise. I had a great support network with friends but something else was going on. Here I was, being diagnosed with anxiety. My doctor and counsellor were both confident that it was situational, but everyone agreed a low dose anti-anxiety med and cognitive behavioural therapy could help.
For those of you who know me you can imagine how hard this was for me to admit I needed help. Not only that, but I was also working in a business where I was surrounded by men who made fun of ‘people like me’ who needed help and medication to deal with life. It was hard enough being an emotionally intelligent leader in that organization and now add in this news… ugh.
When I look back at the years leading to that conversation on a hot July afternoon, I can clearly see that I had reached a tipping point. Like so many of us, I have dealt with a lot in my years on this planet and my coping strategies were no longer serving. It was time for change.
As the divorce finalized and I began rebuilding a life, my doctors and I agreed I could try coming off the meds. A year later… Covid strikes. Brave Path Forward slows, contracts stop coming in, the small businesses I have worked with are struggling to keep their doors open and the activities and people I love to spend time with are no longer a thing. WTF?!?!?
Today’s Taking My Own Advice Tuesday is brought to you by all the cheerleading, happy, this is just a chapter of your life advice and encouragement I give to others.
OK, what the actual fuck?? Anyone else feel like there is not enough cake and alcohol to pull you through the rest of this pandemic?
All joking aside, I really do need a dose of my own advice. The last bit with the polar vortex that has hit Canada, in particular the province of Alberta that I call home, has made staying on the sunnyside of life challenging for me. I recognize there is no perfect life, and that time moves on with or without us, but this last bit has been really challenging for me. So, this morning as I started my day with a cup of coffee and my journal, I challenged myself to ask WHAT the problem is and not WHO the problem is. What can I change in my current reality and how can I set myself up for when the next opportunity knocks on the door? I need to be my own cheerleader and believe that I am always provided for, that this just a chapter in my life, speak my truth and ask for help when I need it… or even better when I am scared to ask for help.
I also want to remind myself that with each decision I have made I have intentionally chosen the Brave Path Forward, even if it is fucking hard… and one day I will look back and hear the laughter that my plans and hopes were a bit of a joke because there was something better on the horizon than I could ever imagine. There always is.
In meantime you may be able to find me enjoying cake and scotch tonight…
And remember, if you want a partner who will push, pull, encourage, and cheer you on there is always room for you to work with me on redefining your Brave Path.
With gratitude,
Liz